For today's child, the Internet is not just a source of exciting content, it is part of his environment. Children in in social networks spend more and more time. Let's try to figure out how useful or harmful this is.
Children on social networks. Advantages and disadvantages.
Not so long ago, mothers and fathers lamented their children’s excessive passion for computer games. At first glance it seems reasonable. The main argument of caring parents is that sitting in front of a monitor and lack of physical activity have a bad effect on health.
In fact, everything is a little different. Scientists conducted a study, the results of which showed that computer games In terms of energy expenditure, they are not inferior to physical activity! It seems incredible, but it's true. Moreover, the higher the intensity of the game, the more energy is spent. Scientists have come to an amazing conclusion: high-intensity computer games improve the condition of the cardiovascular system in children. But today, video games have quietly faded into the background. Now parents have another headache - children on social networks. And as was the case with the previous hobby of children, mothers and fathers see only terrible things in the new trend.
Social media in itself is neither good nor bad for children. It's like talking about the street. The child goes out into the yard and decides who to be friends with. Of course, company can be imposed by peers, but still a lot depends on the baby. He chooses himself - to become good or bad. The same with social networks. It depends on the child whether they will be useful or harmful. It’s great if parents push you towards good things, show and tell. But this does not always work out. So, what are the pros and cons of social media for children?
Pros:
- The opportunity to communicate with friends, family and loved ones. Especially if they are in another city or country.
- Self-development and study. There is a lot of information on social networks in the form of educational films, books, programs for learning languages, lessons and master classes.
- Computer literacy. Using social networks, a child, in the form of a game, learns some of the basics of computer literacy and learns to work with applications.
Minuses:
- Objectionable content. Aggression, violence, pornography - unfortunately, there is plenty of information of this kind on the Internet. According to research, VKontakte is the social network that is most dangerous for children in this regard.
- Social network addiction. Spending too much time on social media can lead to addiction. According to statistics in Ukraine, every fifth child spends one day a week on social networks. Addiction is fraught with deterioration in academic performance and general well-being.
- Problems with posture. Chronic sitting causes health problems. In addition to posture, the child’s general well-being suffers from lack of physical activity.
- Loss of real communication skills. On social networks, children communicate “in absentia.” They behave more relaxed than in real world. Sometimes, even too much. As a result, offline communication seems more difficult than it actually is.
- “Facebook depression. Scientists at the University of Houston conducted a study which found that social network users are more susceptible to depressive disorders than others. The point is what we see. People post the most joyful events in life and new purchases on their pages. When a user scrolls through a news feed with bright photos of friends, his own life seems boring and uninteresting. Moreover, Facebook is a social network that is still less widespread in Ukraine. In us, the “disease” would have the name “depression-VKontakte”.
- Phishing. This is an attempt by attackers, disguised as a reliable organization, to obtain confidential information (data bank cards, passwords, etc.) by messages. Even adults fall for such tricks, let alone children.
- Cyberbullying. Social media is used to send threats, insults and intimidation. Unfortunately, children under 16 years of age most often suffer from cyberbullying.
The fact that networks are harmful to a child can be recognized by the following signs:
- dubious friends on the baby’s friend list;
- the child spends money on games and other virtual entertainment;
- deterioration of posture and vision;
- aggression towards you if you try to “tear” him away from the computer or tablet;
- refusal to communicate with friends offline.
Firstly, create trusting relationships in the family. This is not so easy if they did not exist before the craze for social networks. The child should know that they can talk to you about everything in the world.
Secondly, think about your behavior. How much time do you spend on social networks? How often do you use gadgets during breakfast or other time spent together? That's it, the child is our little reflection.
Third, make friends online with your baby. Be prepared that children do not always agree to this. It’s better to come to an agreement, otherwise you risk becoming part of those 76% of parents who have no idea what their children are doing on social networks.
Children on social networks: prohibition cannot be allowed
On average, Ukrainian parents allow their child to use the Internet from the age of 8. Social networks “accept” users from 13. Let’s be honest, this does not bother children. Why add a few years and create an account? But that’s not about that now. Age restrictions exist for a reason. This is a recommendation for parents. Mark Zuckerberg believes that it is time to revise the age-old qualification downward. Pavel Durov, on the contrary, does not see the need for this. Allow or prohibit, control or let go freely - the final choice will remain with moms and dads. The main thing is that the child’s life is bright, rich and interesting. Then the virtual world of social networks will become an addition to the real world and, perhaps, will give the child a lot of useful things.
We bring to your attention media projects for children's audiences, because... Recently, web application developers have been striving to attract not only adults to their online products, but also the younger generation, who are passionate about digital technologies and spend more and more time on the Internet. Here are some of these online resources.
Diary RU – a school social network that unites all schools in Russia.
A convenient and safe communication environment for schoolchildren, teachers and parents. Homework, schedule, grades - all in one place. “Dnevnik.ru” is a site that makes life at school and around it more interesting and varied.
To a schoolboy:
ü Communication only with peers and selected adults.
ü Convenient schedule and other study tools.
ü Active participation in school life.
ü All-Russian calendar of Olympiads, competitions, competitions, etc.
ü Vacancies for schoolchildren (work during holidays).
ü Expert consultations and much more...
To the teacher:
ü A comfortable and safe environment for communication for the entire school.
ü A single reference book about everything and everyone at school.
ü Convenient schedule and other tools for managing the educational process.
ü Convenient tools to optimize administrative work.
ü Communication and exchange of experience with teachers throughout the country and abroad.
ü Optimizing communication with parents.
ü All-Russian calendar of events.
ü Unified catalog of textbooks.
ü Modern electronic library.
ü Distance courses for advanced training.
To the parent:
ü Convenient and safe environment for communication with class teacher, teachers, director.
ü Communication and exchange of experience with other parents.
ü Access to information about the child’s progress and activities.
ü Unified calendar of school events.
ü A single source of information on the Unified State Exam.
ü Information center for applicants to universities.
ü Catalog of all sections and circles in the city.
ü Modern electronic library.
ü Consultations with psychologists and other specialists.
Smeshariki - a social network created based on the animated series of the same name. In the virtual world of Smeshariki, children can participate in gaming tournaments, watch cartoons, listen to audio fairy tales, communicate with other network members, look for friends and, with the help of their favorite characters from the series, find answers to any tricky questions. The system keeps a rating of the most active users, provides a forum, and also has a section for parents, which provides information on the proper upbringing and education of a child.
According to a study conducted in 2013 by the Internet Development Foundation with the support of Google among Russian teenagers and their parents, the level of digital competence of adults and children in our country is approximately the same and is one third of the maximum possible. It turns out that adults are afraid for children in the online space not because they know a lot about it, but on the contrary - because they themselves know nothing about it. There are misconceptions among adults about networks and their harm to schoolchildren. Often they only increase anxiety and do not contribute to constructive resolution. conflict situations problems that may arise regarding children's online communication.
Misconception 1. If a child starts communicating online, he will not learn to build relationships with people in real life.
Many parents are afraid that the Internet will literally entangle the child, and he will not be able to make new friends offline. In fact, if this happens, then this indicates psychological difficulties, the cause of which, most likely, is not the use of social networks. Online communication, on the contrary, sometimes helps to establish contact with those with whom it is not possible to do so face-to-face, and transfer the experience of positive interaction into life.
Misconception 2. The child is not yet mature enough to painlessly experience the hurtful comments that online communication often provokes.
Many adults know from their own experience how unpleasant it is to read criticism and caustic jokes addressed to them. And not everyone can boast of the ability not to perceive it painfully. But, unfortunately, this is part of life. Hurtful comments start on the playground and continue into adulthood. Online or offline, children face rejection, misunderstanding and other negative things that they need to learn to do something about and overcome. The networks only make the situation worse by making it very easy to leave any comment. But this is a feature of today; in our age it is difficult to avoid online communication.
If you don't know how to use matches, it doesn't take long for a fire to happen. Even if a child spends five minutes online, he should understand that, for example, he should not give out his personal information strangers that there are online scammers and paid applications that you can buy completely by accident. Limiting the duration of online sessions solves other problems, primarily related to discipline and health.
Misconception 4. A child should not use social networks before reaching the age of 13 (16, 18, etc.).
The most common online applications set an “age threshold” in the user agreement: create your own Accounts Only users over 13 years of age can use them. This is due to legislation in the field of personal data protection. But this does not mean that there is a magic date after which the networks will automatically become safe and harmless for the child. No matter what age a person starts his first page, he will need to get used to the new world of online communication.
For example, this is why Kaspersky Lab employees advise parents not to resist the movement of children towards online communication, but to lead it and simultaneously talk about all the intricacies. You can start with help in creating a personal page. At the same time, the child should be told about privacy settings and that the Internet is a public space, so you should always keep in mind who will see the photos and messages you post.
Most of the problems that arise when communicating on social networks are associated with the feeling that everything here is not real, everything is a game. It is imperative to explain that everything here is the same as in ordinary life, and a careless word can truly offend the interlocutor.
Just as we explain the rules of behavior in public places, we need to explain the rules of behavior online. The main idea is simple to formulate: your actions online are no less real than your actions offline, and the consequences can be no less real. Children in early age explain that it is dangerous to trust unfamiliar adults. They tell you what to do in case of obsessive attention from an unfamiliar person. The same applies to communication on networks.
An interesting conversation took place during a broadcast on radio “Echo of Moscow” on December 21, 2014, dedicated to the safety of children on the Internet. A member of the working group on developing rules of behavior for schoolchildren on social networks spoke about the need to conduct educational courses on safety for children, and an invited computer science teacher defended the position that familiarization with the rules of behavior on the Internet should take place during direct activities student. Without dividing online and offline culture, during joint activities and communication, you can pay attention to the rules of safety, information dissemination, and communication opportunities. After all, social networks are designed for communication, and they can be actively used in the learning process.
To treat social networks only as something that needs to be prohibited or strictly controlled means not to notice important moment. Has your child started a VKontakte page? Great! Now you have another channel with which you can better get to know his inner world, hobbies, and friends. Here you can look at various life situations. It’s so convenient to exchange interesting information and connect with like-minded communities. Ultimately, it is an adult who, through his personal example and through joint activities, can show a child what to do with a social network: “hang out” on it or use it as a tool for more interesting tasks.
Today, social networks occupy a lot of time in a person’s life. This applies not only to adults but also to children. A child is more susceptible to the influence of social networks than an adult. Living on social networks has both disadvantages and advantages.
The podcast was created as part of the project "June 1st!" Promoting Internet safety among children and adolescents.”
Our guest:
Child psychologist Evgenia Kondrashova https://vk.com/kondrashova_eugenia
Video interview format child and social networks:
Transcript of the interviewchild and social networks.
Sergey: Good evening, dear radio listeners, I’m with you again, Sergey Ananyev. And today we have a wonderful person as our guest. Child psychologist.
Evgenia: My name is Evgeniya Kondrashova. I work with children and adults. Actually with children and their parents. My children are of different ages: they range from very young children to teenagers. Your topic is more relevant for teenagers in the current period.
Sergey: Undoubtedly. We all imagine in one way or another that, as Vladimir Semenovich Vysotsky said: “We all come from childhood.”
Evgenia: Yes, everything comes from there, and the problems come from there, and parents who come with questions about their children also have questions about themselves and about how to interact with them correctly.
Sergey: I would like to ask, you know what: How can we lay, as parents, as people of the older generation, how to lay the foundations for the correct behavior of children on social networks? At what age is it right to start doing this?
Evgenia: You know, it's an interesting question. There is no specific age. It is believed that certain applications, if you read the articles, from 13 years old, from 16, 17, 18. Some parents limit what you absolutely cannot do. Ban, take away phones, gadgets. Prohibiting a child from registering on social networks if he or she so desires is not allowed. We have a case in the Altai Territory in the city of Barnaul, including when a child’s phone from his social network was taken away. networks and he committed suicide. The teenage age is a very crisis period and teenagers tend to make sharp decisions, well, so categorical, as sharp as possible. And the fact that his phone was taken away had a very strong impact, because his connection with the world was taken away. Therefore, first of all, how to build this relationship between the child and the social. networks, the Internet - this is probably be a friend. Well, that is, negotiate, help, talk about what social services are. Networks. Although, the children themselves will tell you what they are like, not only contact and Facebook, there are a whole lot of them.
Sergey: What to do when a social network becomes a kind of alter ego for a child. That is, in ordinary life he is alone, but on social networks he presents himself in some other light.
Evgenia: And this is just an interesting point. There have been cases in practice. Teenage girl 15 years old. She is very uptight in everyday life. She is closed, she does not share anything with her parents. Again why? Because she is not accepted for who she is. And in social networks, she finds support in certain groups. And it's not that bad actually. It is being implemented there. She draws various animated pictures. She found support there. “What, yes, you’re doing great.” She started writing stories about these pictures. And she began to make progress, relatively speaking. I found friends and my own company there. Therefore, in this case, the Internet, relatively speaking, saved her and brought her into society. Then at a certain moment she realized that, but then the child was still consciously caught, that she was very involved in social media. networks. I turned to my mother. They came to me. She started a little bit offline meetings with these guys who are in our city. That is, we need a little help here.
Sergey: Help. Well, what about being a parent in this situation? Well, imagine, your child sits for an hour, two, three?
Evgenia: A parent must ask himself: Why? This is the most basic thing that parents don’t ask. They say: you are doing it wrong. That is, everything that the parent transmits most often to the child. Again, out of great love, this goes into criticism: “Are you sitting at the computer again?”, “Have you done your homework?”, “What did you find so interesting there?”, “Oh, again you and your nonsense.” That is, all this, if translated into the language of a teenager: “What you are doing is rubbish!” Well, actually.
Sergey: Here the action is the opposite. Still, if we observe, this is how my good friends have a 14-year-old girl, the girl is doing pretty well at school. But during direct communication, they took away the phone, and I became a participant in a simply heartbreaking story, when there were tears, snot, some kind of emotions, it really was as if a person was disconnected from a ventilator, or from a life support machine. How to deal with this? Is this a clear sign of some kind of Internet addiction?
Evgenia: This is a clear sign of Internet addiction. Absolutely right. And how to work with addiction is one question. But first, the parents have already made a mistake; they have violated boundaries. Adolescence is the age of setting your boundaries. And they take and they are violated. She has already left them on social media. network so that they do not violate its borders. And they take away this connection with the world where she is comfortable. Therefore, the first thing to do is not to take it, but to negotiate. Okay, you got it. They took my phone from another client - a girl, 13 years old, but she wasn’t very upset. She came to school and signed out of her friend’s phone account. I ask my mother - so what? She: “Well, somehow we thought that she would apologize, do her homework and generally become good and comfortable.” Therefore, to fight addiction, in fact, addiction is such a thing, even if it exists, it can only be redirected, well, into a more constructive, positive direction. First you need to ask question - why? She sits there simply because she has no interests, in terms of well, she doesn’t show herself in any way? And there it is significant, then in what area? Maybe she's looking at fashion blogs, makeup or something else. Find out what she's interested in? And say, let’s sign you up for courses? We have tons of them now. Well, somehow take it offline. That is, to lay a thread to real life. This is the first thing to do with addiction. The second point is that people are addicted, well, as they often say, if you quit smoking, eat candy, quit eating candy, go in for sports, well, translate it into some more constructive addiction. And this can be done based on interests. It is important for a parent to understand what his teenager is interested in. This is a very interesting point. Parents say: he is not interested in anything, he sits on the Internet. H what is he doing there?
Sergey: There is certainly some interest.
Evgenia: Certainly! Is he doing something there? Boys play computer games. Here is another addiction - gaming. Well, what does he get there? He's cool there, he's successful there.
Sergey: Well, he realizes himself as a male individual.
Evgenia: That is, apparently he doesn’t get this in life. So you need to think about this. It is very important here that dad shows how I show myself in life as a man. Or dad scratching his belly on the couch. “And stop playing and doing nonsense.”
Sergey: I understand that there is some kind of interest, we just may not observe it. This is kind of the tip of the iceberg. But what to do in this case, when there really is no interest as such, but the very fact of communication in society, well, the so-called flood on the Internet. When teenagers just sit on the phone for hours talking or communicating on social networks. Imagine such a child dropping out of this communication. What will he experience? He becomes a social outcast, to some extent.
Evgenia: And that too. And therefore there is no need to take away their phones and gadgets. Because there is also communication there. Nowadays, children really, I will certainly sound like a grandmother, but they don’t walk on the street, don’t communicate in groups, don’t play some kind of yard games. Well, maybe the parents maintain some kind of security, you can understand them. And they are moving to the online space, this is normal. Some interesting videos, blogs, communities, they get information from there. Therefore, just taking them away from there, taking them away and saying that we punished you is not right.
Sergey: Well, it’s clear that the ban never led to anything good. Do you think that problems with Internet addiction and children’s failure to connect online are still a problem for parents and a problem for upbringing? Or is this a problem of society and some kind of modern scientific progress?
Evgenia: Together. All together, because of modern scientific progress as well. Parents are also on their phones. Very many. Catastrophically. In this case, I advise the family: “You make an hour of silence in the evening. Just put everything away honestly, phones. They didn’t take the child’s phone, but dad is playing dance on the computer, mom is talking on the phone with her friend, but you’re bad, you’re punished.” Well that's unfair. You arrange an hour of silence where everyone is actually without phones. This is such an honest general decision. This is the first point. The second point is yes, modern society is very informational. It's fast and dynamic. Well, without social media. networks, without the Internet? Without all these newfangled words. Sometimes they broadcast them to me. I recently learned what “hype” and so on are. Well, because I’m not very familiar with this topic, I don’t spend much time on the Internet. And again, the Internet is also an educational resource. Therefore, just pick it up and sit at home and read Dostoevsky, well, not bad. But we need to keep up with the modern world.
Sergey: This is definitely true. But if we consider an exaggerated case: When a child on social networks becomes an object of ridicule and is subjected to some kind of blackmail. Unfortunately, this happens even among peers, not to mention... What should the child’s parents do? What precautions might there be?
Evgenia: Well, you see, the first point is prevention. If the parent and child communicate quite closely, well, in moderation, of course. He should still warn the child: you are publishing information on social media. networks, but within reason, that is, personal addresses, some candid photographs, do not reveal yourself too much and write what you are ready to say in person. That is, how to somehow prepare your child. If every parent takes care of their child, then such cases of cyberbullying, so-called trolling, I don’t know what else to call it, different variants, bullying, if in Russian. Then they will decrease, these cases. But they still exist. Why? Because it’s much easier, if you don’t like something, to express it in a comment than to say it live. What is dangerous about cyberbullying is that it is 24/7. If you were bullied at school, as it used to be there, they teased you, you went home, hid there and that was it. Here, it’s like it’s very tough. This is very difficult, there have been cases when children have encountered this. They created fake pages and posted photographs of classmates.
Sergey: Yes, that's the point. Unfortunately, we are faced with some kind of anonymous, impersonal approach. Because, as you say, some kind of fake pages are created, just where people are insulted. At the same time, how should parents evaluate this issue? He can't break into private correspondence, can he?
Evgenia: Here you see what the options are. Of course, there are those parents who barge in, also not very honestly, well then, let’s read your correspondence. A different systems security, of which there are quite a lot now, they exist to somehow limit. The child must still develop internal self-control. And some kind of culture comes first from the family, secondly - this is in schools, there should be prevention. In this case, there must be prevention. And of course, if the parent has noticed that the child is “hating” someone. We really need to talk seriously here. Because such things drive children, including children, to suicide. Because if you are not accepted by your society, if you are an outcast, well, life is over for a teenager. Well, for teenagers there is information that is helpline, which you can call 8-800-2000-122. It is for adults, children and teenagers.
Helpline for children, teenagers and their parents
8-800-2000-122
Sergey: That is, this is the so-called Internet ambulance?
Evgenia: Roughly speaking, yes. If it’s really hard for you and you can’t turn to mom and dad right now because you’re embarrassed. You can’t tell your friends either for some reason, you can call.
Sergey: What are the consequences? We dialed this phone number. Does this risk ending up on some kind of list?
Evgenia: Nothing. It's completely anonymous. Calling the support number is completely anonymous and a large number of appeals.
Sergey: It’s just that at one time some company was seriously inflated. It was shown on TV too hotline, but only on social problems, when parents, for example, fight. Or are you afraid of something? After these anonymous calls, families were put on social security check lists.
Evgenia: No. We don't have that.
Sergey: This is good. And one more simple question: What to do if you were forbidden all the time, you were barging in all the time, you were always doing what you shouldn’t have done in order to help your child. And then at one point you realized. As in that signature: “Sergey, I’m 28 years old, I’m an alcoholic, friendly troubles.” You begin to act as you should towards your child, but trust has already been lost and he does not want to make contact with you. He will understand that you are up to something. Some kind of setup is waiting. What to do in this case?
Evgenia: Well, first of all, these are the decisions that the parent made, understood, decided to change his attitude towards the Internet, social networks and the child in all this. You need to voice this to the child. “Excuse me, this is how I reacted before. Now I’m starting to understand that just because I’m an adult doesn’t mean I know everything.”
Sergey: You know, stepping on your false ego...
Evgenia: Here you know what is more expensive. Ego or relationship with the child. Every parent has the right to choose. Nobody is forcing you. Just say honestly: “I will try, but come on too, come on together, help me.” Because admit it, ask for help, these are teenage children they respect. Or if it’s just: “I’ve changed my mind. I will treat you differently now. Come here and here’s your phone number.” Well, this is a humiliating position. You will also receive feedback from the teenager. He won't like it, no one will like it.
Sergey: The biggest mistake for sure, you can correct me if I'm wrong. By by and large, the difference between an adult and a child is often only age. In some social issues, they are by and large no different from adults. This is a mistake that we treat them like some kind of aliens. And as for the fact that they know nothing and can’t do anything, everything is bad...
Evgenia: Here, you know, every parent, for the most part, I want to believe this, he loves his child. He takes it away and says, again you’re on the phone, again you’re on the computer, not out of malice. In this case, just say - well, I’m worried that you’ll ruin my eyes there, let’s chat with you, and not in the usual presentation format. But it is difficult. They didn't communicate with us like that. Because the time was different, the children are different now. And we have the opportunity to change and improve together with them.
Sergey: Thank you very much! I was very glad to talk with you.
Evgenia: Thank you too.
In contact with
Modern children are well versed in the digital space: they know how to handle all kinds of gadgets, and they need an account on social networks not only for entertainment, but also for learning, for example, communicating with teachers and classmates in relevant groups. But communication on the Internet can bring not only benefits, but also pose dangers. About how to build a safe relationship between a child and social networks, “Oh!” said Kaspersky Lab expert Maria Namestnikova.
According to our research, 95% of surveyed teenagers aged 13-15 already have accounts on social networks. However, the active presence of the younger generation on these sites worries many parents who want to protect their children from danger both in real life and on the Internet. But to avoid possible troubles, you do not need to completely protect children from being on the Internet; it is enough to follow.
At what age is it better for a child to register on social networks?
By registering on a particular social network, a person accepts the terms of its user agreement. The corresponding section indicates what age the account owner must reach. For example, for resources such as Facebook and Instagram, it is at least 13 years. However, in reality, children often indicate a fictitious year of birth and successfully register on these sites at 7-10 years old and even earlier.
If the child preschool age wants to open an account on a social network, parents have the right not to agree to his requests - the child may not be ready for the content that is distributed there, and there is no real need for this. A child may have a real need for social networks as soon as he arrives at school. Often, despite the existence of special electronic services, teachers create groups for their classes on VKontakte, the most popular platform among Russian children. There teachers publish homework assignments and other necessary materials, and the schoolchildren themselves form communities for the exchange useful information and communication.
In addition, at this age, social networks help children not only learn everything important and necessary for studying, but also socialize. When the vast majority of peers are already communicating online, you should not exclude your child from this process.
What dangers await children on social networks?
Among the dangers that children may face on social networks is online bullying by peers, or cyberbullying. This phenomenon has long-term Negative consequences, affecting future fate child. It is different from similar troubles in real life, for example, after school. And without personal contact, it takes on even uglier and exaggerated forms.
Therefore, children need to be taught several rules: firstly, on the Internet you can only write what you can say to a person to their face in the presence of other acquaintances, and secondly, to react to the offender, this can only aggravate the situation, in this case it is better to contact for help from adults.
In addition, children may accidentally or intentionally be exposed to inappropriate content. We are talking here not only about erotica or pornography, but also about information about drugs, suicide, as well as scenes of violence or weapons. In this case, special programs for children's online safety can help, which will inform the parent if the child, for example, subscribed to a group with inappropriate content or purposefully searched for such content.
Photo: goodluz/Syda Productions/Olena Yakobchuk/Shutterstock.com
