Throughout life path Every person has to face different difficulties. This could be minor troubles at work, a quarrel with a loved one, illness or the loss of someone close. And in these difficult circumstances it is so important to know that there is someone nearby who will not regret warm words of support. After all, one spoken word can heal a bleeding wound or, conversely, cause even greater harm.

Today, unfortunately, people underestimate the importance of spoken words. But it is in them that it is hidden enormous strength, which can both give life to a person and take it away. The Bible says: " Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:22 As we see, language has power, and despite the fact that it is a small member, it is he who controls everything.

Why is it so important to offer words of encouragement in difficult times?

The fact is that when a person is supported and told that together they will cope with any problem, that there are those next to him who love him and will help, then by this they strengthen the one who is in a difficult situation and give him strength. However, lack of understanding and support can kill even the slightest hope that everything will be fine.

Words of support for the patient

Unfortunately, in life it also happens that illnesses come into our lives. Some of them are easily cured, others have more serious consequences, and others lead to death. And when we learn about the illness of a person close to us, it plunges us into shock and bewilderment. However, what does the patient himself feel at this moment? Of course, he suffers more than others. Different thoughts may arise in his head and it is at this moment words of support for the patient can help him feel not alone, and that there is still hope.

Faced with such a circumstance, everyone understands that something needs to be said, but most often people cannot find the right words and begin to show pity. This is the last thing the patient needs. Our participation and kind word- that's what the patient needs. This is what will help him worry less, knowing that he is still loved.

What words of support can you say to a patient?

1. You need to tell your loved one that you love him and that no matter what happens, you will always be there.
2. Give compliments, praise for some merits, even the most insignificant ones. For the patient, this merit can be a real feat.
3. There is no need to talk about the disease itself and how shocking news it was for you; it is better to distract the patient with some good news or, in extreme cases, a funny joke.

Any sick person needs words of support and attention. This is what will help him come to his senses faster and recover faster.

Words of support and condolences

The loss of a loved one is perhaps the greatest test for everyone. And during this difficult period, a person needs to be given help and attention so that he can go through this path and begin to live a full life again. In this case instead of words of encouragement Words of condolences would be appropriate. However, you can express your condolences in different ways. For example, let's compare two options.

1. "My condolences! Everything will be fine!" – such support seems completely indifferent and sounds more like a formality. How can everything be good if everything is very bad?
2. Or: “Please accept my sincere condolences! Know that you can always count on my help. If you need anything, I'm always here! – such words really make your soul warmer. After all, knowing that there are people who are ready to help in any situation helps to cope with many difficulties.

So, what words to say in difficult circumstances?

• First of all, these must be thoughtful words. What we say can change a person's life for the better or for the worse. After all Every word we say will definitely bear fruit.
• If a person himself is in a difficult situation, then there is no need to dwell on his condition and constantly tell everyone how bad everything is. After all, these words will bear fruit. Difficulties will come our way more than once, so we must learn to extract something positive and kind even from the worst. And that’s exactly what we’re talking about.

The Bible says: “I said, I will take heed to my ways, lest I sin with my tongue; I will bridle my mouth while the wicked is before me” Ps.39:2

Our unbridled words can be a blessing or a curse for someone. Therefore, even when expressing to someone, you should control yourself. Unfortunately, very often it turns out that you wanted the best, but it turned out as always. Therefore, sometimes it is better to remain silent at all than to say something stupid that hurts a person to the core.

Words of faith in difficult times

There are circumstances in which words of unbelief cannot be spoken.

When you are under pressure at work.

When there is no money

Under no circumstances should these words be proclaimed into your life.

"Why?" - you ask. And ask correctly. Remember the studies? God created the entire Universe with a word. And we are created in His image and likeness.

And therefore, what we say in our lives is what we have.

For example.

Example 1. Business.

When I started doing business, for the first 4 months I had practically no orders. Only small ones, or from relatives.

I remember my birthday. I haven’t had any orders for 48 days now, it’s a warm March evening. A friend called me, congratulated me and then casually asked:

“How’s business?”

So many things went through my head at that moment. But in response I answered smartly:

"Everything is fine!".

Instead of words of disbelief and despondency, I said what I believed in.

But isn't this a lie?

No. For the reason that this happened.

Example 2. Relationship with a person.

The principle here is very simple.

Saying is not what the soul feels. Because the soul is always on a roller coaster, sometimes good, sometimes bad.

But say what you believe in your spirit.

And soon what you see will agree with what you say.

An example from the Word of God.

This is exactly what Jesus did.

One day a man approached Him, the leader of the synagogue, whose daughter was dying. Imagine his grief. The girl he raised with love lies with a disease for which this man had no cure. He turned to God.

22 And behold, one of the rulers of the synagogue, named Jairus, came and, seeing Him, fell at His feet 23 and earnestly begged Him, saying: My daughter is about to die; come and lay your hands on her so that she will get well and live. 24 Jesus went with him. Many people followed Him and pressed Him.

The Lord God always answers human needs. Jesus went after the ruler of the synagogue.

But something happened on the road that made Jesus stop. Time is very precious. The daughter dies, the head of the synagogue is terribly worried.

And at this time Jesus is talking to a woman who was healed by touching Him.

35 While He was still speaking these things, they came from the ruler of the synagogue and said, “Your daughter is dead; Why else are you bothering the Teacher? 36 But when Jesus heard these words, he immediately said to the ruler of the synagogue, “Do not be afraid, only believe.” 37 And he suffered no one to follow him except Peter, James, and John the brother of James.

See how important words are. The man still believed. But they came from home and said that their daughter had died.

Jesus' first reaction was to say: “Do not be afraid, only believe.”

And the leader of the synagogue obeyed. He did not utter a single word of disbelief in the most difficult circumstances. He did not become hysterical, did not shout at his subordinates and did not get angry. He gave the situation to Jesus.

And when Jesus spoke the words to him, “Do not be afraid, only believe,” he did it.

He didn't give in to fear. He submitted to faith.

38 He comes to the house of the ruler of the synagogue and sees confusion and people crying and crying out loud. 39 And he entered and said to them, “Why are you troubled and crying? the girl is not dead, but is sleeping. 40 And they laughed at Him. But He, having sent everyone out, takes with Him the father and mother of the girl and those who were with Him and enters where the girl lay. 41 And, taking the girl by the hand, he says to her: “talifa kumi,” which means: girl, I’m telling you, get up. 42 And the girl immediately stood up and began to walk, for she was about twelve years old. Those who saw it were in great amazement. 43 And He strictly ordered them that no one should know about it, and said that they should give her something to eat.

There are several surprising things in this story.

1. The way Jesus behaved.

In the East there is a profession - a mourner. Such people are invited to mournful events. But Jesus sent them away, even though they laughed at Him.

And then Jesus spoke words filled with faith and what He declared happened. He didn't ask his daughter to stand up. He declared this " girl, I'm telling you, get up " And it happened.

But most of all I want to draw your attention to this man.

But the situation is truly terrible. A beloved child dies. Nothing can be done. Since he is the leader of the synagogue, he is not a poor man, and he has tried everything he can. But nothing helped.

But notice his behavior around the Lord.

During all this time, he only uttered words once. And these were words of faith. “come and lay your hands on her so that she will get well and live.”

He spoke words of faith when he came to Jesus. And when it was very difficult, he simply remained silent.

But during all this time he never uttered words of disbelief, words of fear or doubt. HE didn’t lament: “Ah-ah-ah, Jesus, my daughter is already dead, lying in the house. How will I live now? But you didn’t come.”

He was silent. And I believed.

Sometimes faith manifests itself in words. But there are times when it’s even difficult to say. But be silent and continue to believe. And this faith will materialize into the fact that you will see the result of faith.

A word of encouragement for difficult circumstances.

First . Your words of support are very important to your neighbor.

Second. In difficult circumstances, do not allow your tongue to speak words of doubt and unbelief. Because you are surrounded by what you say.

Now let's move on to the more practical side - communication...

Have you often encountered a problem when your friend or loved one is depressed, and you don’t know what to tell him or how to help him overcome this condition? It is very difficult to find the right words in such a situation, because a person may react incorrectly and even inadequately. Below are the most powerful words, which will help you support a loved one in difficult times.

Phrases that make it clear that you care about a person:

What can I do for you?

All written sources describing this problem advise SHOWING, not TELLING. Words are not all that is helpful to a person struggling with depression.

So, what I find most comforting at a time when it is impossible to gather my thoughts is a friend coming over and preparing lunch for me, or someone offering to tidy up my place. Believe me, practical care is a great support for a person facing grief or suffering from depression. Why not go and check on a person who has completely lost his mood?

Actions are very effective when, when communicating, you express compassion to the interlocutor in a practical way. Even if he is too humble to accept such help, I can assure you that he will place your words in that secret corner of his soul that will remind him: “This person cares about me.”

Maybe there is something that could help you feel better?

Talk to the person about something that once brought them joy, or about something new that could bring them joy. Perhaps he himself will not have an answer to this question, or perhaps he will remember something that could cheer him up now, but he is not able to implement it. Then you can provide him with this support and help him do something that will lift his spirits.

Brew him tea, be close, don’t say unnecessary words, encourage him to have a confidential conversation.

Do you want me to accompany you?

Maybe a person has been used to being alone for a long time and has not even thought about the fact that someone might be nearby when he needs to go shopping or get to some place. Moreover, no one accompanied him home. You can offer such support, it will show that you really care about the person and do not want to leave him alone with his thoughts.

Such actions will say more than just the words “I’m nearby”, “I’m with you”, “You can count on me”, because you are really nearby and you can really be counted on!

Do you find support in anyone?

These words say: “You need support. Let's find a way to get it."

This question will help you understand whether a person is surrounded by support from loved ones or whether he is left to his own devices. If you know that someone is trying to support him, but he himself does not talk about it or does not notice the support as such, then this will help you understand what is important to the person, what helps him and what does not.

The more loved ones show such care, the better for a person. If you know that he feels alone in his trouble and does not receive the support of loved ones, talk to them. Let them know how important it is that they get involved and be there for you during this difficult time.

You should also not forget that you can seek help from specialists if the person himself does not mind. I think this is not the first method of help, but if you yourself cannot help a person, it is better to entrust this to professionals. Again, only with the consent of the person. He needs to be helped to understand that depression is a serious and dangerous disease, but it is completely correctable, especially if the person himself understands this and is ready to fight.

This will definitely end and you will feel the same as before.

These words do not judge, do not impose anything, and do not manipulate. They simply give hope, and that HOPE will keep a person alive, or at least motivate him to live until the next day to see if there really is a light at the end of the tunnel.

This is not a simple and seemingly indifferent “This will pass”, “It happens and not so.” Such words show that you really care about what is happening in a person’s life, wish him and you sincerely believe that this will soon pass.

Make it clear that this is just a disease, a treatable condition, after which there is happy life. Everything will not end with such experiences and emotions.

What do you think about most?

This question will help determine the possible cause of depression, what causes the most concern and occupies a person’s thoughts. You explore everything possible reasons, but don’t stop at just one. When a person draws his own conclusions through such a conversation, he will take responsibility for what can be changed.

Perhaps your loved one now really needs a person who knows how to listen and encourage conversation with the right questions. Be gentle during this time and prepare to listen more than you talk, and right time even be silent.

What time of day is the most difficult for you?

Try to find out when your loved one’s depressing thoughts are most disturbing and be as close as possible at this time. Don't leave him alone. Even when he doesn’t want to talk, believe me, over time this presence of yours will bring extraordinary fruits and healing.

Calling at the right time, the willingness of the other to wait until the time when he wants to talk about the problem, simply being present is very valuable! If you are nearby, hug the person, make tea, sit next to them and just be ready to help with all your being. At the very hard time- You are nearby. And most importantly, they are constant.

I'm here to help you.

This is what you can say to confirm all the actions that you are already doing for a person. There is no need to throw around such words if this is not the case. But if it is true, backed up by deeds, it gives strength. It's simple. It is necessary. And in these words there is everything you need to say: I care, although I cannot fully understand everything, but I love and support you.

Silence.

This is the most inconvenient because we always want to fill the silence with something, even if it's talking about the weather. But saying nothing... and just listening... sometimes is the best and most appropriate thing to do in this case answer.

Be sensitive and attentive. Don't chat in vain. Be closer to a person’s heart, it can understand without words.

How can you be ready to provide such support?

Supporting someone during a difficult time is not easy for the person providing the support. Firstly, because you may not know exactly how to help a person. Secondly, because you are simply worried about him, and yes, you also hurt somewhere inside from his pain!

In advance, stock up on patience and love, be prepared to wait as long as necessary. You won't always understand everything. This is not required of you. But if you are there and support and express your care in every possible way, you can do it.

But this requires a certain dedication. We are not always ready to invest so much in someone. To do this you need to really love.

Help a person find meaning in life. If you yourself are confused about this issue, we can talk about it with you. After all, there is nothing more important than condition human soul and the contribution we can make to the relationship.

I was prompted to write this article by an appeal from one woman:

“A friend of mine recently died close person, I want to support her, but I don’t know how...”

My first thought was sharp, that if you don’t know how, then it’s better than trying to do it ineptly. I have more than once observed how some types of “” simply finished off people, only made them more painful, and inflicted a deep wound on the body of the soul. I will write more about this below.

Well, there is another moment when, under the auspices of support and assistance in difficult situation other people provide help in order to show their importance, to show that they are caring, to prove that they are not as bad as others think, etc. So to speak, to exalt themselves and show their nobility. That is, you need to answer the questions: “Why do you need this? What motivates you?
Source: artchive.ru

How does the inner world of a person experiencing grief work?

At first the loss is denied. I can't believe that a person died. Shock, numbness. The gradual realization of loss brings intense pain into the soul. It becomes painful in my soul. You try to comprehend what happened, and tears well up in your eyes.

A person may be in an altered state of consciousness and experience a feeling of unreality. As one friend put it, recalling the episode from the moment he received news of his death to:

“It’s as if everything happened not to me. Swiftly. It’s as if you are not a participant in the events, but a scene of action is unfolding around you. It’s like you’re watching a dream, like you’re watching a movie in the hall.”

Often a person is completely overcome by a feeling of guilt because he did not do for the deceased what he could have done.

“I shouldn’t have gone to the dacha to relax, but go to my father. Then maybe he would have lived at least another year - I would have taken him to the hospital...” one man mourned his father.

Feelings of guilt can develop into self-flagellation. And the person will not give himself forgiveness.

Source: artchive.ru

One woman spoke about the death of her newborn child:

“I hate myself for the betrayal. I gave birth to a girl, she had heart defects, two weeks of intensive care. My husband and I went to see her every day. My parents asked me to take a break to rest, not to travel for at least one day. We went anyway. But on the 14th day, on Sunday, I don’t know why, but I succumbed to the persuasion of my parents and persuaded my husband not to go... We knew that the end of her life was about to come, and I was doing such a stupid thing - we weren’t going to see her . The next day we arrive in the morning, and the doctor tells us that your child has died... I know that this is a betrayal... It’s scary to talk about this to someone..."

A person tries to understand and comprehend what happened. Asks questions: “What should I do? Why is life so unfair? Why such a fate?

A person already knows that the deceased cannot be returned, but the surrounding things remind him of him and seem to resurrect him. The translucent image of the deceased appears nearby again and again.

From the words of a mother who lost her daughter:

So one day after my grandfather’s death, when I was getting ready for work, I saw my shoes, which he had repaired. Memories of his kind attitude, concern for fishing together, joint lunches, joint tea parties, how as a child I prepared dinner for him, set the table, how he joked... Memories of the past collided in the present with the awareness of loss. They clashed irreconcilably and brought tears to our eyes.
Source: artchive.ru

After a loss, a person does not want to do anything. I don't want to see people. I don't want to go to work. Against the backdrop of the death of a loved one, current worries and people’s conversations seem meaningless and insignificant.

Everything collapses, and it is difficult to understand what and how will happen next... Those relationships and connections that a person had with the deceased will now never exist again.

How can you not support in grief?

“Don’t burst into tears, otherwise you’ll die.”

I think no comments are needed here. It’s unbearably hard for a person, and they also finish him off with fear.

“Don’t cry... You have to stay focused.”

How can you not cry? This is the point, that it needs to be experienced. You should neither hold back your tears nor judge those who are grieving for their tears. This also makes no sense because it is impossible to keep your attention concentrated. This is asking for the impossible. And when they say “must”, then a person may feel even worse because he simply cannot be concentrated now, but here you see “must”.

“Look, Ivan Ivanovich’s wife also died... And she was younger...”

Comparisons with others are also not entirely appropriate. That was at Ivan Ivanovich's. And now I have a loss. That grief did not touch me, did not touch me. Heartache in this and this case incomparable for the one experiencing grief.

"Get a hold of yourself".

A banal phrase. And this phrase only makes it worse. Well, a person mourning a deceased person is not able to pull himself together. And when we ask him to do this, and he cannot do it, this makes him feel even worse.

“I know your feelings.”

Not a very good phrase. We cannot know exactly how another person feels. Because each person is unique and inimitable and because we have never had the relationship with the deceased that he had.

“God only takes the best.”

And from this phrase it follows that only those who are worse, who are not so good in the eyes of God, remain to live on Earth, including the one who is now mourning the deceased. So, is it working out?

“Well, he died and died, what now...”

This phrase implies a complete disregard for human feelings. In the eyes of a person experiencing grief, death is a disaster. And they tell him that it’s so-so, everyday thing. According to the UN, 2 people die every second in the world, 160 thousand people die every day, 60 million people die every year. Death, perhaps in general, is a frequent and ordinary phenomenon, but not for that individual person who is now experiencing grief.

And further. Once again You should not interfere with your participation in someone who is experiencing grief. A person who has lost a loved one may lose warmth in their relationships with other people. He may speak with irritation and hostility. He may ask you not to touch him and leave him alone, even when you show warmth and care.

There are times when we see the only opportunity to stand up for ourselves in the ability to insult our interlocutor. It is worth recognizing that this method is not always justified, and, at times, can even lead to negative consequences. But there are still situations when it is very difficult to do without it. There can be many such situations, and we will consider some of them in more detail. Self-defense When someone allows themselves to speak offensively towards us, we often “boil” in response. It’s rare that someone manages to restrain their emotions in such a situation and ignore the attacks of an aggressive interlocutor. Of course, if a person has managed to achieve the highest degree of self-control or simply cannot decide to respond to an offensive remark, then he is able to ignore negative words addressed to him. And yet, more often than not, it is not easy to restrain yourself. Protecting the Weak There are situations when we are unable to ignore the fact that someone allows himself to be offensive towards another person. This is especially unbearable to watch when your spouse, your child, a shy girl, or even an unfamiliar pensioner comes under fire from offensive words. In general, aggression awakens in many of us when a weaker person suffers and finds it difficult to stand up for himself. Of course, in this case, the injured party needs protection, and will undoubtedly feel a deep sense of gratitude when receiving it. Animal protection This point is somewhat similar to the previous one, but the difference is that this time we're talking about not about weak person, but about the animal. Some of us, seeing, for example, how teenagers torture a cat or a drunken person kicks a dog, try to pretend that they simply do not notice what is happening, but the majority still cannot look indifferently at the suffering of “lesser brothers.” Of course, in this case, insults on your part will be more than justified.

How to morally humiliate a person without swearing

Clever phrases to shut someone up

Open your mouth at the dentist! Usually those who meddle in other people’s lives are those who can’t manage their own. Don’t fall under hot hand, so as not to fly under the hot foot.

Cool and funny insults

Shut your laugher already! Stop waving your tongue like a flag at a parade.

Offensive cutting phrases

It looks like the stork dropped someone along the way. And more than once. You would have been taken to the Kunstkamera during your lifetime. One more phrase like this, and you will have to move through life in jerks. You should think about saving nature by sterilizing yourself. It is probably difficult for you to love nature, after what it has done to you.

How to politely send a person away by calling him witty words

Are you leaving already? Why so slowly? I’m too busy a person to pay attention to your complexes. Shock me, finally say something smart. It looks like you never got over your youthful maximalism. You should be silent more often, you’d be considered smart I hope that you are not always so stupid, but just today.

Play on his weaknesses and complexes

Alas, you cannot save the world with beauty. However, also with your mind. Woman, you are not so beautiful as to be rude to people. Just by looking at you, I can believe that man really descended from a monkey. Don’t worry, maybe one day you will say something smart. Where did you learn do makeup in Valuev’s style? What, no one wants to get married, that’s why she’s so angry? Is everything really tight? Well, at least try to scatter your bone marrow. It’s immediately obvious that your parents dreamed of you running away from home. It’s true what they say that the brain is not everything. In your case, it's nothing at all.

Create long-term systematic pressure on the enemy

Is it acceptable to use obscene names and curses?

Of course, we are not always able to control ourselves and cope with ourselves in peak situations, but you should make every effort to achieve this. If it has come to the point that you see no other way but to be rude to a person, then try to do it subtly and beautifully. As they say, there is no need to stoop to the level of “bazaar women.” Of course, if you couldn’t restrain yourself and started swearing, then there’s nothing you can do about it, but still try to prevent this from happening and put the person “in his place” in other ways. The point is not that you can especially hurt with swearing interlocutor. It is simply believed that a person who has “sank” to swearing is not able to defend his opinion in ordinary words - to some extent, this is how we demonstrate our own inconsistency. Of course, it’s a different matter if you, in principle, always communicate with abundant consumption swear words, but that's a completely different conversation.

How to learn sarcasm using cheeky funny words

Go, lie down, rest. Well, at least on the rails. I could have offended you, of course, but nature has already done it for me. Nobody scares you, you will be scared in front of the mirror. A stapler would not hurt your mouth at all. Well, I rang the chain, now to the booth go.

If these beeps continue to come from your platform, then your dental composition will have to move. Are you sick or do you always look like this? You should be in a tube right now. Pay attention to the baseboard so as not to forget about your level. I would laugh at you, but life has already done it for me.