Chapter 11 Negative Relationships
If a husband kills his husband, then brother takes revenge on brother, or son on father, or son on brother, or son on sister; if no one takes revenge, then 40 hryvnia for the person killed.
Russian truth, 1072
Live in modern world requires much greater rationality in the assessments, thoughts and actions of each person than was the case in antiquity and the Middle Ages. The norms of blood feud gave way to more balanced relationships. Our ancestors already tried to regulate negative relationships between people with the help of laws and courts. All the more so it requires modern life. There is a need for rationalization of interpersonal, business and social relationships, in which we should no longer rely only on our emotional impressions, because they are often incorrect and serve as the basis for the formation of prejudices. We see how suspicion and mistrust, anger and hatred eat away at the thin fabric of good relationships in the family, in the group and in society. But what are the reasons for the destruction of relationships, why do we like some people and actively dislike others, how to avoid negative emotions that negatively affect our entire lives? How to protect yourself from aggression, level it out, and even better, avoid conflict? How does the stream of aggression pouring on us from television screens affect people? To answer these questions, you need to understand the origins and causes of negative relationships.
Negative relationships have their own evolutionary history, which is based on the dichotomy “us – them”, as ancient as the world of people. Negative attitudes come in many forms, but many are based on feelings of prejudice. This feeling is familiar to people from their own experience - both in their relationship to others and of others in relation to them.
11.1. Prejudice
Prejudice is a specific attitude of subjects based on information about negative qualities object. Such information, as a rule, is not checked for accuracy and reliability, but is taken on faith. Studying the nature of prejudice is of social importance because people's perceptions of other people, groups and ethnicities are often based on prejudice. Based on the behavior of one or more representatives of other groups, people tend to draw conclusions about psychological characteristics the entire community, and this kind of prejudice often turns out to be a very stable psychological formation. Negative information about the personality traits of a new employee can cause prejudice among members of the work team towards him, which will significantly complicate the process of his adaptation.
Prejudice – This is a negative attitude towards a representative of a social group, based only on his membership in this group.
Prejudice concerns a fairly wide range of groups, which allows us to talk about different types prejudices. The most common prejudice in the world is racism. The presence of people in the world with different colors skin and eye shape provides grounds for distinguishing them. But in order for prejudice to appear towards a particular group, certain social conditions are needed. It is unlikely that Russians will have prejudices against Eskimos or Indonesians, because we do not come into contact with these peoples. But as for the closest neighbors, the difficult history of relations between peoples and historical memory provide grounds for the emergence of ethnic prejudices.
Another common type of prejudice is sexism. It implies the presence of prejudices about the qualities of men and women, which are based on long-standing and fairly stable stereotypes. As a result, almost all countries experience discrimination against women's rights, which is reflected in lower wages, inability to borrow leadership position, to be elected to governing bodies. Varieties of sexism also include prejudice against people of non-traditional sexual orientation (homophobia).
The third type of prejudice is related to age (ageism) and also occurs in any society. Older people tend to have a very low opinion of today's youth. And modern young people are skeptical about people who do not use the Internet, mobile phone, don't know foreign languages, which means they don’t understand modern slang, and they don’t understand anything about modern music. On this basis, prejudice arises about not only the physical, but also the intellectual abilities of older people.
Unlike these visible and quite simple reasons emergence of prejudices, there is also a fairly large class of social phenomena, which also leads to the emergence of prejudices and the formation of stereotypes. Prejudices and stereotypes negatively affect relationships between people, making these relationships irrational and thus leading to conflicts. As a result, interaction between people is hampered and the normal functioning of society is disrupted.
11.1.1. How prejudices arise
Psychologists have offered quite a few answers to this question. It turns out that prejudice arises for a variety of reasons, both biological and social. We have already seen that, on a sensory level, children under 6 years of age are able to distinguish people based on their ethnicity. Understanding the surrounding social world, children create complex categories - concepts that explain this world. One of the first, basic categories is the division of all people into two categories - ours and others, “us - them”. By identifying themselves with a certain group by gender, age, nationality, language, social status, profession and origin, people conventionally identify social categories with which they relate themselves. Of course, they are more inclined towards “their own” than towards “strangers”. Psychologists call this phenomenon intra-group bias and opposite feelings - prejudice. And the categorization process does not end there. In addition to the fact that we perceive quite large groups of people as “strangers,” we tend to attribute negative qualities to them, regardless of the real state of affairs. At the heart of this process lies another phenomenon - the spirit of competition.
Rivalry – This is a feeling born in the process of evolution, which was caused by the struggle for resources and status associated with the conquest of representatives of the opposite sex.
U modern people These feelings and experiences have been preserved, although no one organizes mating fights anymore. But as a result of long evolution, even today, during puberty and youth, men experience increased levels of the hormone testosterone. K. Palmer (1993) studied aggressive behavior Canadian amateur hockey players. Young unmarried hockey players acted aggressively in 42% of games, while older and married players acted aggressively in only 15% of games. %. The researcher found that young players were less likely to engage in playful expressions of competition, and were more likely to display hostile forms of it. K. Palmer looked at this “cold aggressiveness” from an evolutionary point of view. Unmarried men who do not yet have a permanent partner are more prone to aggression than married men. The scientist believes that this is due to the struggle for status (203, p. 83).
Rivalry also applies to other areas of life, since various benefits ( good job, houses, cars, things, food) are distributed unevenly. Rivalry is the more intense the more people perceive the situation as unfair. As a result of prolonged rivalry, people begin to perceive each other more and more negatively, as was the case in M. Sherif’s experiment in a children’s camp.
An important component in the formation of prejudices is social learning. Already in childhood we acquire social attitudes towards different groups of people. Prejudices can take the form of offensive designations - nicknames of representatives of “outsiders”. They exist in all countries of the world and perform a specific function, allowing representatives of one ethnic group to inflate their status and social role compared to others. Nicknames create a negative background, as they carry elements of unjustified humiliation of other ethnic groups. It’s like an inferiority complex in an individual, when a person can respect himself only by humiliating others. And this is bad practice.
The media plays a major role in social influence in the formation of prejudices. The biases expressed by editors and presenters can be quite subtle, but that doesn't make them any less harmful. And if members of a particular ethnic group are presented in a negative light, then this begins to affect the audience. The media should be especially careful in their assessments, unless they set themselves special purpose discrediting events and entire peoples.
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How to deal with negative people
What is the main determinant of happiness?
The answer to this question, as you probably already know, is not wealth, fame, beauty or power. Our sense of happiness is determined by how other people, especially our loved ones—friends, family members, colleagues—treat us. When your loved ones treat you well, you simply cannot help but feel happy, but if they treat you poorly or avoid communicating with you, you are doomed to unhappiness.
The reason our happiness depends so much on the quality of our relationships with others is because humans are first and foremost social creatures. And if you look around, you can find a lot of evidence of this. It is very important for us to know what others think of us, and, as my own observations show, we are much more willing to agree to experience something unpleasant (for example, watching a bad movie) in the company of others who share our negative attitude towards it than to experience something pleasant (for example, watch a good movie) in the company of people who disagree with us. Our social nature also explains why falling in love with another person is the most precious experience of our lives and why isolation, the extreme form of which is solitary confinement, is considered by those who have experienced it to be the most severe test.
All this explains why it is so painfully difficult for us to communicate and interact with negative people - people who constantly spoil our mood with their pessimism, anxiety and mistrust. Imagine being constantly prevented from pursuing your dreams because “only a few succeed at it.” Or imagine being constantly discouraged from learning something new—like scuba diving or horseback riding—because it’s “too dangerous.” Imagine constantly hearing negative things about other people (for example, “I can’t believe you told your neighbors you failed your driving test—now they’ll never respect you!”) If you regularly experience this kind of negative influence, This can greatly affect your pool of positivity, which in turn will cause you to either join the ranks of negative people or become indifferent or even rude towards negative people in your environment.
How should you behave with negative people?
One obvious solution is to simply not communicate with them. But this is easier said than done. We can always easily stop talking to a grumpy bartender or an airline manager who has trouble managing his anger, but we can't just turn away and stop talking to our parents, siblings, spouses, coworkers, or friends.
A more practical approach to dealing with such people is to first try to understand the reasons for their negative attitude. In short, a negative attitude almost always has its roots in one of three deep-seated fears: fear of being disrespected by others, fear of being unloved, and fear of something bad happening. These fears continuously feed each other, and as a result, the person gripped by them comes to the conclusion that “ the world very dangerous, and the majority of people are bad.”
A person gripped by such fears finds it difficult to believe in the need to follow his dreams (after all, he is guaranteed to fail along this path) and take risks, even if this is necessary for personal growth and development. It is also easy to understand why people who are captive of these fears find it very difficult to trust others.
The fears that underlie a negative worldview manifest themselves in a wide variety of forms:
Vulnerability or a tendency to be offended by other people’s comments: for example, the phrase “you look great today” evokes an exclusively negative reaction: “So yesterday I looked bad?”
Categoricalism or the tendency to invest negative motivation in the completely innocent actions of other people: for example, guests who do not praise the hostess’s treat are regarded as “uncouth rude people who do not deserve invitations in the future.”
Diffidence. It's about about the feeling of helplessness, the inability to cope with the trials that we encounter in life life path, which leads to severe anxiety when faced with such tests and to feelings of shame and guilt if a person avoids these tests.
Demanding: Although negative people feel acutely insecure about their own abilities, they often persistently demand special achievements from their loved ones so that “I can be proud of you.”
Pessimism or the tendency to believe that the future is bleak and hopeless. For example, negative people are much more willing to imagine how and why an important commercial visit might go wrong than vice versa.
Avoidance of risks, especially in matters of a social nature. This leads to a reluctance to disclose information that “could be used against me” and, as a result, boring conversations and superficial relationships.
. The desire to control the behavior of other people, especially loved ones. For example, negative people make strict demands on how their children should eat, what kind of car they should buy, and so on.
It is worth noting that all of the above manifestations of negativity have one common feature, namely the tendency to blame external factors - other people, environment or “luck” - and not yourself and your negative attitude towards the world. Negative people often think, “If only people knew what I was capable of, if only people were kinder to me, if the world wasn’t full of dangers, and if only my friends, colleagues, and family treated me the way I should.” I would like that, I would be happy!”
At first glance, it may seem rather paradoxical that negative people experience self-doubt and at the same time consider themselves entitled to demand respect and love from others. It may also seem quite paradoxical that negatively minded people look with pessimism at their own future and at the same time demand success from others. However, in reality there is no paradox here. This happens because negative people do not feel respected and loved, do not feel that they themselves are able to control their lives, and therefore demand love and respect from others and strive to control everything around them.
If you look at negative people from this point of view, it becomes clear that their negativity is an almost undisguised cry for help. Of course, these people are not helping themselves by showing their plight and their desire to control everyone - they would be much more successful in trying to win love, respect and control if they realized that showing their plight and desire to control everyone is doomed to failure. — but the fact remains: negative people need help.
An obvious but ultimately counterproductive way to help these people is to give them the love, respect, and control they crave. However, this can be a very slippery slope because over time people adapt to new conditions, and soon those around them will be forced to show even more love, respect and give these people even more control in order to make them happy. In other words, by fulfilling their wishes, you may be creating a Frankenstein who will come back to haunt you with renewed vigor.
An alternative solution is to force negative people to find the sources of their negativity and understand that their negativity is more a reflection of their attitude towards the world than an objective state of affairs. Meanwhile, as I already wrote in another article, people are rarely able to adequately respond to critical statements, and those who are negatively disposed most likely will not listen to them at all, let alone take them into account.
This leaves you with only three options. First, you can grit your teeth, face that negativity, and hope that the person standing in front of you will change someday. The second option is to try to find a professional counselor or mediator (for example, a mutual friend) and hope that a “third party” opinion will help the person understand that their negativity is not helping anyone.
However, these two options most likely will not solve the underlying problem. In the first case, when you grit your teeth and hope that the negative person will eventually begin to perceive the world around him in a positive way, your passivity can serve as evidence that his negativity is justified. Over time, this will lead to growing and tightening demands on you and, if you are unable to meet these demands, to new complaints against you.
One of the arguments against the second option is that negatively-minded people often tend to avoid solving the problem, hiding behind indignation and the imaginary injustice of claims - “everyone around, even my best friends, are opposed to me! Even if a third party can show a negative person that his worldview is unproductive, this is unlikely to change the situation. This happens because recognizing the problem alone is not enough to solve it: this requires changing the subconscious thinking patterns that underlie negative worldviews.
This brings us to the third and, from my point of view, the most reasonable option for behavior in a society of negatively minded people. In short, this option involves three elements: empathy towards the negative person, taking responsibility for your own happiness, regardless of the negative attitude loved one, and the maturity of your relationship with a negative person.
Empathy rarely, if ever, involves giving a negative person advice to change his or her behavior. It also completely excludes reading lectures about the sources of their negativity. As I wrote above, most of us are not ready to listen to negative and critical statements - this is especially true for negative people. It can be quite difficult for you not to react to such a person, especially if their negativity gets under your skin. However, remember that if you express everything to his face, this will not help solve the problem, but will only make it worse. It's also worth remembering that while you only have to deal with a negative person occasionally, they have to deal with themselves all the time! This thought can help you feel compassion for such a person.
The second element—taking responsibility for your own positivity—suggests that you do whatever it takes to protect your own happiness. If you are unable to maintain a positive attitude and calmness, then all is lost. In one of my articles, I gave some tips on how you can take responsibility for your happiness. In short, this involves starting to think more positively about the world around you, but this may not be enough if you have to constantly deal with negativity: you may need regular breaks from and interaction with a negative person in order to remain calm. Of course, if you want to take regular breaks from him, you'll have to come up with a plausible explanation - you don't want your loved one to think that you're avoiding him.
The third element - maturity - implies an understanding that the most effective way to set such a person in a positive mood is to become the embodiment of a positive attitude. For example, blaming a negative person for making you see the world around you in dark colors will not help. Imagine the irony of telling someone to “stop blaming others for your negative worldview,” while blaming them for bringing you down.
How can you show your positive attitude towards the world in such a way as to force a negative person to adopt it, without stooping to lectures and moralizing?
To do this, you need to learn - as much as possible - to behave like a person who is absolutely safe. That is, to behave like a person whom other people love and respect and who controls all important aspects of the lives of those around him. This means: do not let the negativity of others interfere with your natural desire to make your dreams come true, do not be afraid to take justifiable risks, trust other people. However, you should not do all this just to annoy a negative person or prove to him that you are right. It is best to behave naturally, so that spontaneity, a positive attitude and trust in relation to other people become your integral features. Then, if a negative person allows himself to make a skeptical or cynical remark - and he will certainly make one - take the opportunity to explain to him why you act the way you do.
For example, if such a person warns you that your pursuit of a dream is futile, let him know that you perceive your chances of success differently, or tell him that you would rather try and fail than give up on your dream altogether. If a negative person warns you of the disastrous consequences of taking what you consider a justifiable risk, respond calmly: “Well, we’ll see what happens.” Let's hope that as a result of this risky venture you will not incur any losses and gain new valuable experience. Over time, the negative person will have to accept that although you are much more risk-averse, you are not reckless. Finally, if a negative person chastises you for trusting people too much, ask him to remind you of times when others took advantage of your trust to your detriment. (Let's hope there were very few or no such cases, because if not, the negative person may be right in saying that you are overly trusting.) You can also feel free to point to research findings: to form lasting and deep relationships , you need to trust your loved ones. (Let's hope that you can boast of a closer friendship than your interlocutor, who perceives the world around him in a negative way.)
Although it may take you a long time to see any results, eventually they will appear. Change will happen at an extremely slow pace, but once it happens, it will stick for a long time. The truth is that people enjoy being around positive people, so even a negative person will sooner or later appreciate your positive attitude towards the world. People also really like to experience positive emotions. Therefore, if a negative person absorbs your positivity in your presence, at some point he will begin to value himself more, and this in turn will lead to the fact that he will begin to trust others more and look into the future with greater optimism.
As you've probably realized by now, dealing with negative people requires humility. The fact that you find it difficult to overcome others' negativity proves that you have seeds of negativity within yourself. If you didn't feel drained by the negativity of others—if you had absolute confidence in yourself—you wouldn't find the company of negative people so repulsive. Understanding that you need to work on yourself to cope with your own negativity, while helping others in their struggles with a negative outlook, will help you gain the ability to empathize, think positively, and the maturity needed to carry out this difficult but a very necessary task.
Hello, my dear!
Isn’t it true, it’s wonderful to live in the world when you are surrounded exclusively by 
good, kind and sweet people? It’s great when every person you communicate with is friendly towards you! How nice it is when people praise you and sincerely smile at you! Yes, it's just great! When there are only nice people around, life becomes much simpler and brighter!
Would you say that this doesn’t happen? Let me disagree with you, my friends! Happens! And in order to create such an environment in your life, you don’t have to be a millionaire. I explain this for those who may now be thinking, “Aha, if only I had a hundred million euros, everyone would definitely love, praise and admire me!” Do you need THIS kind of attitude? Do you really want a “good” attitude towards yourself, based on sycophancy and ingratiation? It seems to me that it is not very pleasant to realize that it is not you who are loved, but your money. Well, okay, let the millionaires deal with the crowds of their fans themselves. :)) And we will return to our relationship.
Surely you have all heard the wise thought that you need to treat people the way you want them to treat you. Everyone knows about this, many quote this phrase. But here's what interesting feature I noticed. Most often, for some reason, people interpret this thought as “DO this to people,” that is, they transfer the meaning of the phrase exclusively to specific actions. And its meaning is precisely this: TREAT people the way you want them to TREAT you! That is, what we mean is the internal message that comes from you to people. If you hate a person, but greet him with a nice smile, then most likely he will not treat you particularly well. People subconsciously feel the true attitude towards themselves from another person.
I have a friend who has a negative attitude towards almost all the people around her. She considers everyone stupid, promiscuous, unworthy, etc. 
She herself, being a well-mannered lady, does not openly show her emotions. But at the same time, conflicts constantly arise with her participation. And, as they say, out of the blue! People feel a negative attitude towards themselves, most often subconsciously, and at the subconscious level they form an attitude towards you. You know, it’s quite difficult to communicate with a person who despises all people. You don’t even have to be an extremely sensitive person to feel the emanating waves of negativity. Not to mention that it is unpleasant to listen to constant negative judgments about literally everyone. As a result, there appears a persistent desire to meet and communicate with this person less often, even if you treat him very well and perfectly understand the motives and prerequisites for such behavior.
In my opinion, a negative attitude towards people is generated by some limitations in a person’s consciousness. He accepts as good for himself only what he understands. And everything else that goes beyond his understanding causes 
his rejection. The broader a person’s horizons, the more developed his imagination and intellect, the easier it is for him to admit that other people may have other (different from his) interests, values, and concepts. Even if we take the example of musical preferences. Some people like classics, some like rock, some like jazz. All people are different, everyone has their own musical tastes. For one, this is natural; it would never even occur to him to think that a person who prefers a different musical style is somehow worse, lower or stupider than him. And there are those who think so.
Perhaps this perception of the world is based on pride, a rather dangerous and unhelpful quality. A person obsessed with pride considers himself always and in everything right, his opinion the only correct one and having the right to exist. Anything that differs from the “correct” causes rejection or even aggression. Now I’m not taking as an example any radical movements like nationalists or something like that. In principle, I don’t want to talk about this. We're talking about individuals, about you and me and those around us.
Treating people well has never been a problem for me. Perhaps my natural optimism is the reason for this, or my upbringing - my parents, as far as I can remember in childhood, never spoke badly about anyone, did not “wash the bones” of acquaintances or friends. Maybe it also played a role that in childhood and adolescence (just when a person’s character and his attitude to the world around him are formed) I read simply a huge amount fiction. Various heroes with their characters, perception of the world, stories, etc. instilled in me an understanding of the diversity of human society. And a completely loyal attitude towards those whose life values and priorities do not coincide with mine.
You know, treating people well is primarily good for yourself. In- 
First of all, you don’t experience negative emotions, and this is already very good! Instead, you experience and it’s absolutely wonderful! :)) Secondly, you broadcast your good attitude and positive. And as you remember, everything you give will definitely come back to you. This means you also receive positive things from the world! It doesn’t matter whether it’s through people’s attitude towards you or in some other way (what do you think, you can even receive it in monetary terms!), the main thing is that the world returns this good thing to you. Well, in the end, people just treat you well! And this, believe me, is very pleasant and gives you a good mood!
So how can you cultivate a positive attitude towards people? Once upon a time I read a phrase that I really liked: “It’s easy to love the whole world. It’s much more difficult to love each specific person.” Maybe in the original it sounds a little different, but the essence is approximately the same. Yes, it’s easy to say that all people are brothers and everyone needs to be loved when it’s all abstract and general. But it’s somehow a little more difficult to treat a boss who is yelling at you well...
We are not Buddhist monks; it is still difficult for us to have an even and positive attitude always and to everything. Yes, there are people who are annoying and angry. By the way, I already wrote about that. So, don’t try to extinguish negative emotions in yourself, you won’t achieve anything by doing this. Try to change your ATTITUDE towards the situation as a whole and towards the specific person in it. If this person appeared in your life, it means you need it for something. Or the Universe is sending you some kind of message through it. Or he helps you work on some mental task. If you still have negative emotions towards a person, do not let them become “chronic”! This is the most dangerous thing - to carry negativity within yourself, mulling it over and over again. If you can’t evoke a positive attitude towards a person in yourself, then at least try not to think about him. Otherwise, as it happens, you had a fight with a person, he left and forgot, and for several more days you torment yourself with memories of this event! Can you imagine how much bad things you have emitted into the world during this time?! But it will all come back to you! Don't give YOURSELF such “gifts”!
Was there a negative situation? All, keyword here for you – “was”! Immediately switch your thoughts to the good. Don't allow yourself to dwell on the negative.
There is another technique that allows you to establish relationships with people without even communicating with them directly. Send them something good in your thoughts. They tell absolutely amazing stories about how this technique worked practically 
instantly! I remember reading a story told by a woman who was yelled at by her boss. And she, right in the process of “dragging”, when he showered her with criticism from head to toe, began to mentally imagine him happy and satisfied with life somewhere on vacation, and even with a lot of money. And what do you think! He suddenly somehow quickly calmed down (although she was silent!!!), quickly finished the criticism and let her go. But that is not all. Since then, he specifically began to treat her much better! Although he didn’t change his attitude towards other employees!
But in order to use this technique, you need to react to the situation, and not be like an oyster with its unambiguous reaction to a stimulus. Don’t get bogged down in the situation - rise ABOVE it, observing everything as if from the outside. Then you will be able to CONTROL the situation! And this will not only allow you to change events in your favor, but also will not allow you to get irritated and angry with another person. Just what we need!
So, friends, everything is entirely in your hands. It is absolutely possible to create the kind of environment around yourself that I presented to you at the very, very beginning of the article! Get creative with this process and remember that you are doing this FOR YOURSELF!
Good luck and great attitude from those around you!
Your Ekaterina
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A person’s environment directly affects his personal growth. If he is surrounded by negative individuals with pessimistic views, then even the most optimistic person will lose his zest for life. Therefore, it is necessary to clearly understand who surrounds you.
Identifying a Negative Environment
It is very easy to understand that your friend is negatively influencing you. To do this, you need to look at a person based on a number of criteria.
1. If after communicating with someone you feel depressed and experience negative emotions, this is a clear sign of the negative impact of your interlocutor on you. This happens when your friend constantly complains about life, work, family or neighbor. For such people, it doesn’t matter how good everything is - they will always find something negative.
2. Envy. Constant envy on the part of your friend will make you feel ashamed of your own achievements. This feeling will slow you down on the path to achieving new heights and have an extremely negative impact on personal development. The most striking examples of envious statements can be considered: “I wish I could do that,” “But I’m not so lucky.”
3. A friend’s lack of ambition will also hinder your personal development. Telling such a person about your plans will not receive support or approval. Only calls to quit this stupid idea. Over time, you will lose the desire for anything.
4. If a person remembers you only in difficult situation. If someone calls you only to solve personal problems, you should think about your relationship with such a person. Communication with him will not affect your personal growth in any way. But you shouldn’t allow yourself to be exploited.
Why do we maintain negative relationships?
There are many reasons for continuing to be friends with a person who negatively affects your personal development. But all these reasons are not worthy of the degradation of your personality.
1. Leaving your comfort zone. All people are psychologically afraid of change. This also applies to friendship (especially if the friend is close). Even realizing that friendship with a person only brings frustration, we are afraid to break off this relationship. Awareness will help to cope with this problem negative influence relationship with this person and the desire to change the situation.
2. Fear of loneliness. All people are social and everyone experiences the fear of loneliness. Often we hold on to relationships for fear of being alone. There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of in this situation. By breaking away from relationships that are weighing you down, you will become more cheerful. And, as a result, others will be more willing to communicate with you.
3. Feeling important. This problem is especially relevant when a negative person entrusts the solution to his problems to you. All people strive to feel needed and significant. When you solve all your friend's problems, you may get the impression that he cannot live without you, but this is self-deception. Of course, you need to help people, but it is better to help those who will appreciate your efforts and be grateful for your help.
Getting rid of negative influences
It is almost impossible to get rid of a person’s negative impact on your personality and maintain a relationship. Typically, in such a situation negative person It will become difficult to communicate with you and he will stop communicating. suppress negative impact There are several ways to improve your personal growth:
1. If a person starts telling you how bad his life is or complaining about his employer, change the subject. Say you'd like to talk about something more pleasant. This will allow you not to experience negative emotions at the end of the conversation.
2. If you hear a remark of envy from your friend, tell us how you achieved the object of envy. Show the person that he, too, can get what he wants if he puts in the effort.
3. If you are asked for help that you cannot or do not want to provide (for any reason), try to politely refuse. Don't burden yourself with a false sense of duty.
Remember that personal development is a vital process. Don't let a negative environment slow down your personal growth.
